A long time ago..

I keep wanting to write letters to the people I love. For some reason I think writing letters will sufficiently get all the little ideas that are really just warmth on my skin all collected and able to enter the physical world. So dear you, here is tomorrow. Here is to living on. Here is to Saturday. Here is to you. Congratulations, you captured a bird. No, the bird flew to you. The bird gave up it’s wings for its new found curiosity. Look at me. I haven’t smiled like this in far too long. I want to tell you so much. Everything. I’d grow old with you. I’ve known you for barely 3 months. I like human beings. Too much. It’s my fatal flaw. I want to wake up to them. Sleep with them. Drink with them. 

Lucifer

If everything beautiful must be set free,
can I just make you ugly enough that the
window will not take you from me?
And perhaps that deems me cold.
But I would let myself freeze 17 times over,
just to keep your body
touchable.
You, me and
sunlight drenched sheets.
Turning brighter with each morning:
you dissolve.

Beginnings

Recently, I have been thinking about where I want to go with my creative abilities and photography skills. I feel as though I am waiting for the perfect shot, and won't settle for less. I took a picture of my bed, because it is simple. I need to realize everything has the potential to be the "perfect shot" and that I need to go through many pictures to find it. Everything is just waiting to happen; just light the flame.

Pardon?

Each person has a steady equilibrium.
When we veer, we either adapt or we come back.
I have adapted.
I have.
And memories,
They are ghosts. They don't exist outside.
This is life.
This.
And I am living, but
I can't see through the smoke;
can't breathe with this stuck in my lungs
forever. And I won't tell,
He won't tell
It didn't happen.
I was dreaming.
As far as we know,
nothing really has happened.
It keeps jump cutting.

Bad film.

Bad News.

Fishing

Everyone is looking for happiness,
like its the gold rush.
Claiming their spots on the lines of his palms.
Or setting up camp in post card scenery.
But I took interest in the sea.
Diving into moods that wash over me
with no instant reward.
Once you strike gold,
where is your depth?
You're a canal
and I am an abyss.

Conversations with a Boy I've Never Met (II)

Are you happy? Proud? Anything? Do you wake up thinking of someone? Does your hair stick to your face as you scratch your inner leg? Is there a burning desire to turn around still left inside your stomach? Do you ever have thoughts that hit you like a man hits a rabbit on a road? Do they strike you in a pleasant way; are you moved? Is there guilt in your exhale? Is there caution in your hands? Are nights your daytime? Is daytime your playground? Do you pick at your nails just to slow things down? Do you forget to look up? Just once? Does your heart skip beats? Do your hips find a rhythm? Does your car go fast? Can you show me? Will it hurt? Do you ever stop and think, even for a millisecond, or half:

Am I happy, proud, anything? 

"It's history. It's poetry."

Unspoken Conversations with a Boy I've Never Met (I)

Him: Why do you always look at me?
Me: Why do museums exist?
Him: Preservation.
Me: Preservation of what?
Him: Important things, beautiful things.
Me: I like to preserve beautiful things too.

Storage Space

I want to curl up 
near the crook of your secrets
Kiss your brain
Hold your liveliness in between my fingers
Read your eyes
like a novel
and your heart beat
like a symphony 


I am sure I can put all my efforts
into constellations
but who has the time to look anymore?
So I can turn them into 
fireflies and keep them in your
back pocket so the hope in my eyes
will illuminate your wardrobe
and disperse throughout your body
without me. 


-"the bee"